Why do we worry chronically at times?
The answer is simple: there are too many problems on our mind at once and we have not found a system to employ to identify them and solve them. The alternative to finding a system is to expend enormous amounts of mental energy trying to solve the issues in our minds in a fervour, at random and not at times we choose. Essentially relying on this way of solving problems is driven by the subconscious notion that the worry itself will magically fix the future and change the problems for the better and although some things can be solved via the chronic worry process a lot more could be solved calmly thus preserving peace of mind by following these simple steps.There are many problems with chronic worrying. Chronic worrying is not a practical way to solve problems that are the cause of the worrying and can create more problems.
Steps to Stop Worrying
- First recognize when you’re worrying
- Get two notebooks that you can store privately and securely from others. Each time you catch yourself worrying record the worry process in the first notebook without worrying about the format, missing details, the colour of your pen ink etc. Perfectionism is the enemy of this process since detail and thoroughness are important here not organizational or writing ability as that comes in later steps. This is brainstorming.
- After several sessions of recording your worries place a symbol beside all the things you can’t control and one beside all the things that are in your control. Circle the things you’re unsure of being in your control or not there are underlying themes there most likely impeding you and speak to your friends or a counsellor about those things and don’t worry about them for now. However, most find there is a clear distinction between what’s potentially solvable and what’s not.
- On the first few pages of notebook number two neatly list those things one after the other that you can’t do anything about. Try to accept it!
- In subsequent pages of notebook number two list all the worries in terms of what problem each represents with space between each item such as one or two whole pages. Don’t try to solve them yet just organize the book.
- Choose a set times of the day you’re going to try to solve your problems and don’t let yourself try to solve them or “worry” until your designated time. Don’t do any of this in bed or close to bedtime as seep should not be associated with these things.